A Proper Wife

I realize that it's pretty cheeky of me to publicly share my comments on motherhood. I, the uninitiated. What good are my opinions on this topic? Because let's be honest, I don't know much about motherhood on a practical level. I've babysat and nannied enough to hope and pray that motherhood is a LOT more rewarding than that, and the general consensus of those I talk to seems to be that it is. I was watching The Hours the other day (How cliche, right? Virginia Woolf? Lesbians? Come on!) and the character named Kitty was very upset that she couldn't conceive. She was going to the doctor to get a surgery done that might help her predicament and her comment to her friend, played by Julianne Moore, was, "I don't think you can call yourself a woman until you're a mother." It's funny because that scene in the movie was set in 1950, but within the church, I don't think that opinion has changed much since then. It seems quite possible to me that...

I thought this was a very funny post on FMH. Obviously entirely tongue in cheek and slightly irreverent so don't read it if you don't have a sense of humor about these things. http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2013/02/a-modest-proposal-for-preventing-the-women-of-lds-families-from-being-a-burden-on-their-husbands-or-church-and-for-making-them-beneficial-to-the-publick/#more-17284

I was asked today at church what I think a feminist is and it made me so happy to know that people are reading my blog and thinking about it. That's really why I wanted to start it, in order to prompt people to consider questions they hadn't considered before or in a new / different light. The question got me thinking as well. There are so many different definitions of feminism. Google's aggregated definition of feminism as, "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." So that would beg the question, what is equality? Does equality mean indistinguishability? To me, a big step towards equality within the realm of the church would be to cut out the gender roles besides those that are outlined in the Family Proclamation and allow all members to pursue fulfillment according to the dictates of their own conscience, without the strict cultural gender pressures that we experience. I believe that The Family:...

Oh, that dreaded word. To anyone outside of the church it means a system in which men hold all the power and women are in perpetual subordination. And we all talk about the "patriarchal order" with tears in our eyes and then wonder why that confuses non-members. Anyone who has read anything about feminism knows that Feminists feel about the word Patriarchy the way that most 70 year old Tea-Partiers feel about the word Communism. There's a lot of anger there, distrust, hate. It's pretty much an expletive. Like the way Maggie Gyllenhall says, "Tax Man!" in Stranger Than Fiction. But should this word conjure such emotions, within the context of the church? Is that what it means, more or less, that men get all the power... forever? Add this to the list of spiels I would love to go on in Sunday school if I had the time/attention/interest of the class. The great thing about a blog is that I don't have to care so much about your time/attention/interest. ;...

Click -  The Diane Rehm Show - The Feminine Mystique Heard this on NPR today. Diane Rehm's voice makes my bones hurt but the conversation was really interesting.

The generally accepted cultural consensus of the church, at least in my experience, seems to be that women get to bear children, which is why they don't get the priesthood. Or, in other words, the Priesthood is the male equivalent to motherhood. My question then, if that is true, is why did the Father of us all, who with all of His incredible roles, power, knowledge and authority has asked for us to address Him as Father, seem to feel that fatherhood by itself was not equal to motherhood, and feel that men needed a little something extra to make it even? I don't think that's how it works. I don't believe that the only g odly power that women have been asked to exercise in this life is bearing children. Don't get me wrong, that is an incredible, spiritual power. But it is one that, if we solely focus on its physical nature, may also be exercised by prostitutes. Nor do I believe that the only source of godly power in a sealed couple is the Priesthood held by the m...

The same day I decided to start this blog, I happened to be checking out LDS.org, and noticed (It wasn't hard; it takes up the top half of the page) that the church has launched a new series of leadership training modules called "Strengthening the Family and the Church through the Priesthood." And this was my thought:  Interesting choice.  Of course, being a feminist who is somewhat active in the recent flurry of LDS feminist activity, (It's true, I wore pants. I still do sometimes.) I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that this might be reactionary. A response from them, if you will. That is my assumption, and I fully accept that it is probably not true. However, given the recent surge of MoFem airtime on the news and whatnot, I still found now to be an interesting time to focus on broadcasting the message of the "only-held-by-males" priesthood. Here are my thoughts on this choice: I sincerely believe that a decent portion of feminists, myself included, and...

So, I finally did it. I took the plunge and started a blog. I'm sure my Facebook friends will be relieved that with this new outlet, the number of my MoFem posts is sure to go down. I've been contemplating this for months, composing hypothetical blog posts in my mind. Then Pants happened, I thought it might be too inflammatory and trendy or I'd look like I was just a Feminist because everyone was doing it. Like all the Ravens fans that came out of the woodworks this past month. And then there's that word... Feminist. What do I even mean by that? Let's play a family word association game! I'll say something and then you all say the first thing that comes into your head, ok? Go! Me: "Feminst" Older sister: "Sonia Johnson" Mom: "Man-hater" Brother: "Lesbian" Dad: "Excommunication" I don't know about any of you (assuming anyone is reading this) but to me Sonia Johnson has become the ultimate threat to...

Throughout my life, again and again, I have come up against the assumption that the majority of Mormon Feminists are inactive apostates who don't understand the doctrine and if they did, they wouldn't be Feminists. On the contrary, it has been my experience that there are many fully active, relatively conservative sisters (and brothers!) who are actively engaged in the many conversations that are taking place right now regarding the role of women in the Church. The struggle of many of these brothers and sisters is that it can be difficult to have these kinds of conversations without it turning into an out-and-out church-bashing session. I have had friends come to me wanting to have these conversations, seeking a safe place in which to do so, where the accusations and man-hating won't get too frenzied or rabid. ;) I think many of us seek a conversation that is, in a word: moderate. I had the desire to share my thoughts and opinions on these topics, NOT because I think I...