A Proper Wife

My husband is a BYU student still. Sometimes I feel like I will never leave Provo... sigh. But that's another post. He's in a New Testament class right now. So of course the first thing a feminist thinks about when I hear New Testament class is the inevitable lesson on Paul's gender opinions and then the feeling of dread sets in. Some of Paul's gems include, " 34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." and this: " 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is thehead of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in ever

I recently had a really interesting experience in a worthiness interview with a priesthood leader. We began to discuss some of my gender issues with the church and he began to share some totally non-doctrinal opinions as an attempt to explain the sexism in the church. One of the morsels he offered up was that God is a polygamist. I stated unequivocally that I did not believe that and it was amazing to me how empowering and comforting it was to do that.  My feminist issues probably began at birth but I got around them in one way or another until I was endowed and then I just hit a road block that has seemed insurmountable at times. But within just the past few months, I have gotten to a point that is a huge landmark for me: I no longer doubt God.  The temple broke my heart because it literally made me feel that God loved me less than His sons or placed me in a lower importance or worth than them. It made me doubt my own worth in a way that nothing else ever has. But I've