Building Zion

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how many of the problems of feminists stem from within themselves. Now, before we start burning bras here , let me explain. I personally have struggled with a feelings of intimidation when dealing with priesthood leaders throughout my life. But I wonder how much of that comes from some sense of inferiority within myself? I admit that there are structural and cultural norms that would encourage or cause those feelings, however, I also know that the priesthood can only maintained, "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile." My experience has been that the vast majority of priesthood leaders, while not perfect men, are trying their best, and the last thing they want is to make a daughter of God feel in any way inferior.

Is it not also the responsibility of the women in the church to build up Zion? If we are not opening our mouths to change those things which can and ought to be changed, then we cannot blame everything on the unrighteousness of men. I sometimes wonder how male leaders are supposed to be aware of the perspectives and feelings of women if no one tells them? Just like,how I can't blame my husband for not treating me the way I want to be treated, unless I've taken the time to tell him how I want to be treated. The vast majority of the leaders of the church are good men, but they are men. They will never be able to understand the needs and feelings of the sisters without our help. They need our feedback. We need to rely on the Savior, know of our great worth before him and then righteously and kindly express our needs to priesthood leadership if we feel that our needs are not being met. No priesthood leader I've ever worked with would be offended by such feedback if it was done in a Christlike spirit.

As an example, I'd like to share the experience that my mom shared with me while serving as a missionary in the West Indies:

"One of the difficult adjustments of serving as a senior couple is that in your life together prior to your mission, you both have your individual roles, callings and responsibilities which give you a sense of purpose, direction and fulfillment individually. When you're called on the mission, you're given an assignment as a couple, with no direction as to how divide responsibility such that each feels necessary, needed and fulfilled in their mission. So some couples can't ever really bridge that gap. Often, the man just does his thing and some sisters struggle to find a place to fit or feel needed. As a couple, my husband and I found that we needed to sit down and each of us define and accept our own way to contribute to our combined success and once we established that, we were each much happier and more effective. Two people contributing and sharing their gifts and talents is always more effective than one actor and one cheerleader.

We are serving in an area of the world that culturally under-values the spiritual gifts and intrinsic abilities of women and the contributions they can bring to building the Lord's kingdom.  As part of our specific assignment, we have been asked to present to councils of the church on a stake level; conduct stake firesides, and train leaders in wards and branches in effective teaching techniques and planning youth and YSA activities.  Serving as senior missionaries, we, as a couple, have divided equally those presentations believing that a broader number of people in our audiences are reached by our differing and complementary perspectives on these topics.  It has been especially satisfying to us, of late, to have senior priesthood leaders ask how and why we share our presentations.  When we have replied that we have found it to be the most effective way, they have been mildly surprised and interested because it is unusual in their culture.  Recently, a member of the stake presidency and his wife presented a fireside together for the first time. They reported that it was a great experience and they would like to do that more frequently.  Maybe we all just need to extend ourselves a little more to demonstrate as often as possible in the governance of the church; the best model is a combined one, a man and woman actively working together, by small and simple means, to change the norm for the better."   

What an inspiring example of a righteous LDS feminist! We do not need to feel that in order to be Christlike, we have to be silent. God has asked us to be full, contributing members of the church! If you are feeling unheard or overlooked, take this chance to remember your great worth before the Lord and then speak up! I believe that the Brethren would love that feedback! 

As Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world," ... or, in the ward.