Rippling Pectorals
The other day I went for a long walk with my dog and my baby in his running stroller. As we went along our usual Provo route, we went by a park where there was a young man doing sprints. He was wearing nothing but a pair of running shorts and some shoes.
At first, I thought nothing of it, as I'm sure most people wouldn't. But then it suddenly occurred to me that if I were doing exactly what he was doing, wearing exactly what he was wearing, I would get arrested for indecent exposure. And I thought: this is a perfect example of patriarchy.
Noticing patriarchy around you is all about noticing the ubiquitous assumption of a male perspective. Why can men walk around topless and not women? Because women's breasts are obscene. Why are they obscene? Because they're sexual. To whom are they sexual? Heterosexual males.
So because heterosexual males find my body obscene, I can be arrested for wearing the exact same outfit as that man and doing the exact same thing he was doing. This is just one of a myriad of examples of how our society is andro-centric. Male-centered. How everyone in our society is to some extent controlled by the perspective of the heterosexual male. That is the patriarchy we live in. If we lived in a matriarchal society that man might be possibly arrested for showing his rippling pectorals glistening in the sunlight. :)
As I continued my walk, I passed by an elementary school. A group of little girls came up to me to pet my dog. I smiled and said hello while they pet him and then carried on. As I was walking away, the thought occurred to me that if my husband were doing this exact same thing, wearing my exact same outfit, he might be reported and investigated. He probably wouldn't be arrested, even if he were wearing the stretchy pants that I had on. But the assumption would be: Guy hanging out around an elementary school, chatting with little girls? Creepy.
This is a perfect example of how patriarchal gender stereotypes hurt and limit everyone. He could be suspected of malicious intent based on nothing other than his sex. I'm not saying we shouldn't teach our kids about stranger danger. I'm saying that I wish my kids could grow up in a world where they could choose their dress, activities, interests, inclinations and careers based on nothing other than their passions and preferences.
In the meantime, I invite you to take a walk. Imagine yourself in gender swapped situations and see patriarchy around you.
At first, I thought nothing of it, as I'm sure most people wouldn't. But then it suddenly occurred to me that if I were doing exactly what he was doing, wearing exactly what he was wearing, I would get arrested for indecent exposure. And I thought: this is a perfect example of patriarchy.
Noticing patriarchy around you is all about noticing the ubiquitous assumption of a male perspective. Why can men walk around topless and not women? Because women's breasts are obscene. Why are they obscene? Because they're sexual. To whom are they sexual? Heterosexual males.
So because heterosexual males find my body obscene, I can be arrested for wearing the exact same outfit as that man and doing the exact same thing he was doing. This is just one of a myriad of examples of how our society is andro-centric. Male-centered. How everyone in our society is to some extent controlled by the perspective of the heterosexual male. That is the patriarchy we live in. If we lived in a matriarchal society that man might be possibly arrested for showing his rippling pectorals glistening in the sunlight. :)
As I continued my walk, I passed by an elementary school. A group of little girls came up to me to pet my dog. I smiled and said hello while they pet him and then carried on. As I was walking away, the thought occurred to me that if my husband were doing this exact same thing, wearing my exact same outfit, he might be reported and investigated. He probably wouldn't be arrested, even if he were wearing the stretchy pants that I had on. But the assumption would be: Guy hanging out around an elementary school, chatting with little girls? Creepy.
This is a perfect example of how patriarchal gender stereotypes hurt and limit everyone. He could be suspected of malicious intent based on nothing other than his sex. I'm not saying we shouldn't teach our kids about stranger danger. I'm saying that I wish my kids could grow up in a world where they could choose their dress, activities, interests, inclinations and careers based on nothing other than their passions and preferences.
In the meantime, I invite you to take a walk. Imagine yourself in gender swapped situations and see patriarchy around you.
I bet if you found enough women to protest men's pectorals you could get indecent exposure laws to cover them as well. But you won't. Why? because mens pecs are not viewed as sexual or reproductive organs by anyone.
ReplyDeleteTake a look at the gender bias in our laws against men and then talk to us about patriarchy. The pendulum swings both ways sweetheart:
http://mensrights.com/tag/laws/
Why are pectorals not considered indecent exposure? Because men are not hypersexualized by a male controlled media and society. And don't call me sweetheart. It's incredibly condescending and sexist. If you want to live in willful ignorance of the powers that control our society, be my guest. Oh, and by the way, breasts are also not considered reproductive organs by anyone.
DeleteShow me empirical evidence of these unseen "powers" that control our society and I will believe you. I think feminists honestly think that there is some illuminati-style council of men that seeks out ways that they can subvert women. I'm glad you think that breasts aren't reproductive organs, I never said they were. Penises and vaginas are, and that is why we cover them.
ReplyDeleteSo you honestly think that women are only forced to cover their breasts because men hypersexualize them? Men don't need to hypersexualize them. We are instinctually attracted to them. Men aren't only attracted to breasts because the media has conditioned us to think this way. We are programmed biologically to see breasts, hair, and hip width as fertility indicators. Thank goodness for the mutual attraction of the sexes.
If you purport to know the male psyche better than us, then you are out of your depth. Why don't you ask men how they feel? Have you ever asked men how they feel? Or don't our feelings and opinions matter? How do you know how we view breasts? Are spurious generalizations enough for you?
Coward, my job is not to educate you about the world. If you'd like to get better informed, you can start at my post http://aproperwife.blogspot.com/2014/06/define-worldly.html that has some links to it that might help you see reality more clearly. After that you can start reading books. There are all sorts of great ones out there. I'll suggest Half the Sky as another great source for seeing the systemic violence that is carried out by the patriarchal society in which we live.
ReplyDeleteYes, I honestly think that women are forced to cover their breasts because men hypersexualize them. There is nothing inherently sexual about a woman's naked body. The only reason why you find it sexual is because you are a heterosexual man who is attracted to women and in your mind female flesh=sex. That is what our misogynistic, androcentric media has taught you and you don't seem to have the greatest ability to grasp abstract concepts, so I can see why it might be difficult for you to broaden your mind outside of the boob=sex construct. I assure you, it can be done. Also, asking men (individual man, in this case) what he thinks is not an authoritative source. I understand that you've been brought up to believe that your penis gives you authority, but in fact. that is not the case. Just because you think boobs, hair and hips=sex, that does not mean it is a fact. It just means that you objectify and hypersexualize perfectly no-more-sexual-than-you human beings.
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ReplyDeleteAlso, I would suggest that before you make a comment, you read the post. Then wait five minutes and read it again. Then before you think you've got it, read it again. All of your comments and protestations are already answered and explained in the original post.
ReplyDeleteTo use your words "You have no right whatsoever to make comments about my body." Never refer to my penis as the sole source of my supposed authority. That is reducing my entire experience as a person with thoughts, feelings, and experiences down to one thing. Reducing me as a person to my sexual organs is sexist.
ReplyDeletePlease explain to me why I am sexist? Am I sexist simply because I disagree with you? Because I use facts to back up my claims? Because I believe we are biologically hardwired to be sexually aroused by the opposite sex?
I have nothing to be ashamed of. That is not why I am choosing to remain anonymous. I choose to remain anonymous because you simply can't help but insult me. That has also been my experience elsewhere. And why does it matter? My name won't make my points any more or less valid.
You have just proved me right: "You are not welcome here unless you agree." Well, the way logic works is that if the original premise is flawed (step 1), then every other step is invalidated. That is why I am still on step 1, not because I haven't "done my homework." And FYI the patriarchy is nowhere near universally accepted outside of dogmatic feminist circles.
P.s. I am also listening to your voice. How am I "making the whole point of this blog about addressing my concerns and listening to my voice?" Do I not even have the right to engage in conversation with you? You are probably the only one to even read my comments.
ReplyDeleteSaying that your penis does not give you authority is in no way reducing you to your penis. I never said, "all you are is a penis." I acknowledged that you do, in fact, possess a penis and said penis gives you no authority whatsoever. You are sexist because you go onto a woman's blog and expect her to empirically prove a publically accepted fact, take over the dialogue and make it all about you, and hypersexualize and objectify women and claim that it's biology. Your anonymity makes anything you say have less weight and value in my mind. And how does being anonymous make being insulted any better? You're welcome to disagree. But if the only thing that you have to talk about is that the patriarchy doesn't exist and that objectifying people is right and good, then you're also welcome to go away. Please. Any time now. You just have no idea what you're talking about at all and your comments are in no way furthering any kind of interesting or positive dialogue whatsoever. Don't you have anything better to do than troll feminist blogs? Why don't you go read a book about feminism so you can know what I'm talking about and then you might have something interesting to say?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYou're right, having a penis gives me no authority. Except in matters pertaining to what it is like to be a male. In this particular case, I am an authority. I would never claim to know what it is like to be female (except in matters that have proven to be true through scientific study), which is why I am inquiring about the patriarchy. The facts say it doesn't exist, unless you define patriarchy as all the sexist men and a few archaic gender roles leftover in the American milieu. That said, you have no right to claim any knowledge of what it is like to be male. The right way to respond is to ask men what our experience is, not to claim you know how men should or should not think. Despite what you said, yes, asking men about what it is like to be male is authoritative. Who else could be the authority on the male gender? Please don't say it's women.
DeleteAnd I was fine having a conversation about the topic. IT WAS YOU who made it personal, and made it about me when you started attacking the facts and claiming that I hypersexualize women and insulting my intellect by painting me as some caveman. Look in the mirror.
You have not answered or addressed a single concern. And I'm beginning to think it's because you can't, and not because you don't want to.
I am not trolling. Trolling would be to make a deliberately offensive or provocative comment with the aim of upsetting you. If different opinions upset you, again, the internet might be the wrong place for you.
And I disagree, this conversation has been very interesting to me. Positive? Not with all the insults, no. But definitely interesting.
And my claim that both genders are sexually attracted to the physical traits of the opposite sex is in no way objectifying men or women. It is only one factor of attraction. If I ever claimed it was the ONLY factor, that would be objectifying. But I didn't.
DeleteI refuse to teach you about what the patriarchy is. It isn't my job to educate you. It is ridiculous to say that patriarchy doesn't exist when you obviously have no idea what the word even means. Your description of patriarchy is laughable. No one believes what you described. That's not what it is. Once again, don't try to engage in a conversation on a topic about which you know absolutely nothing. I never said I was the authority on what it's like to be male. I said that regardless of your sexual orientation or anatomy, boobs do not equal sex. I feel sorry for you that you are unable to understand that the female body exists outside of your heterosexual male, sexual paradigm. The fact that you are unable to do so is indicative of your sexism and that you understand the female body fundamentally in terms of what it can do to please you. Thank you for illustrating so well how alive and well patriarchy is in our society. I have no idea what "facts" you keep referring to, other than your absurd opinions which you seem to be unable to differentiate from reality. I still find you boring, obnoxious and unbelievably arrogant and wish you would find someone else's blog to troll. If you post again, all of your comments will be deleted. I'm done wasting my time on you.
ReplyDelete