Modesty and Objectification

Recently I've been reading a lot about modesty on the online Mormon Feminist blogosphere and I can honestly say that at first, I was a little baffled by the anger. I had never thought of modesty as a feminist issue. But as I read more, I started learning about "rape culture" and the (totally non-doctrinal) idea that is all too pervasive in our culture that women and the way they dress should be held accountable for the thoughts and even the actions of men. The idea that immodestly dressed women are "asking for it" or "leading their brothers astray." And that bugged, obviously. But it wasn't until I watched this Ted talk that the pieces really started to fall together for me.

This made me realize that what we call modesty in the culture of the church can  actually sometimes be the objectification of women because it's saying that a woman's body is inherently sexual and should only be seen in the context of how a heterosexual man views it. And that's really more about power than anything else. That's having men and their propensities control how a woman should see her own body and its uses. How arrogant is that? Your body's only function worth mentioning is the one that most directly benefits me.

Now maybe that last paragraph sounded a little extreme, so I'm going to clarify what I'm saying. I don't think a faithful Latter-day Saint of either gender should go around naked. I believe in modesty. I believe that we should hold our bodies in reverence of the incredible gift that they are. They take us one step closer to being like our Heavenly Parents and they enable us to learn incredible lessons and do amazing things. The complexity of the human body is, to me, a great testimony of our Creator's incredible handiwork. I believe that my body is sacred and that God did not give it to me to use it in a way to get attention, to seduce or to get power over anyone else. It is to be the tabernacle of my spirit and a reminder of in whose Image I was made.

I also believe one of the reasons why we were sent here to get bodies is to take part in the sacred act of Creation. But I don't believe God intended for His daughters' bodies to be oversimplified down to that one function. If all I needed in this life were a uterus, God wouldn't have given me all of these other parts, desires, abilities and gifts. And the problem with an extreme view of modesty is, in my opinion, the same problem with the extremely hypersexual portrayals of women in the media. They send the message that a woman's body is good for one thing and should only be viewed in one way, which is patently false.

I recently gave birth to a gorgeous little boy and it was a miracle to me in a million ways. I'm so grateful for this incredible body of mine that can take part in our Heavenly Parents' plan of salvation and bring this beautiful little human bean into the world to be my friend. One thing that this process has taught me is how multi-functional my body is. In some ways, during this journey, I've sat back like a passenger on a ride and been amazed at the things my body could accomplish. It has at times made me think, "I can do that?!"

What the essence of all of these thoughts boils down to is basically that I don't want the conversation about what my body is good for or how it should be viewed to be determined by any heterosexual male-dominated source, because how could he know? He doesn't know all the things that I can do. And he may be overly fixated on one of my body's functions that is particularly beneficial to him. God knows what all my gifts are. He gave them to me. He gave me this body that can run and sing and hold and feed and lift and heal and help and clean and work and move and love. And He gave me the blessing of my whole life to figure out all of the amazing things that it can do. I don't believe God wants me to be constantly dwelling on only one of its functions. I don't think He intended His daughters' bodies to be a source of fear or shame. I don't believe He wants me to view my body in only one way. And I don't believe He wants His sons to view His daughters in one way, either. That oversimplification causes you to lose sight of the whole, which is infinitely greater than the sum of its parts.

When society says that a woman's body is inherently sexual, it's lying. When any culture says that a woman's body is inherently sexual, it's wrong. My body is only inherently sexual if you're objectifying me. Otherwise, it's just a body. I have lots of different parts. They're parts of me. And they do lots of amazing things.

It's quite the paradigm shift, taking the female form out of the context of the heterosexual male gaze. It's incredibly freeing. Suddenly clothes and body parts become functional and somehow more real. They just are. Suddenly women can just BE instead of being on display. Suddenly I understand why I don't care about whether anorexic models or full-figured girls are hotter. Suddenly it becomes obvious how ridiculous it is that our society in large part determines a woman's value (or righteousness) based on her appearance. Suddenly it becomes obvious how much about the portrayal of women is calculated to play into the lie that women exist to please, entice or seduce men. Suddenly the ground shifts beneath me as I realize that so much of what I've ever been told about my own gender is relational, as if women only exist in their relationship to men.

So before you  assume that a woman dressed a certain way because she wants to "give it up cheap" or because she "doesn't respect herself" ask yourself what context you're in. Because maybe her outfit, when viewed outside of the "women only exist in relation to heterosexual males" box is totally functional and indicative of absolutely nothing besides what temperature it is outside.