A Proper Wife

I don't usually love HuffPo, but I appreciated this considering how many people misunderstand the term feminist. It's really pretty simple. We really need to re-brand this term. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebecca-searles/how-to-tell-if-youre-a-feminist_b_4185742.html

http://whatwomenknow.org/all_are_alike/ I was amazed to realize that I hadn't yet published this list on here. I really like a lot of these suggestions and it seems from recent events that the leaders of the church are listening! :)

http://utahvalley360.com/2013/11/04/primary-young-women-and-relief-society-broadcasts-combining-in-2014-general-conference/ Now I wonder if they'll consider it officially part of conference and make it as long as the other sessions? I think it's pretty awesome that the leaders do seem to be at least considering the most common sense attempts at parity. I'm excited to see what other changes are in the works!

I've recently been discussing with some friends an LDS cultural phenomenon that can be a source of frustration for women such as myself. It's something that before I got married, I never even dreamed I'd have to deal with. It is what occurs nearly every time I meet a new LDS man. He tends to ask my husband what he's studying, what his career plans are, what interests he has and then he almost always fails to pose these same questions to me. I'm guessing there's the tacit assumption that the answer to the question, "what do YOU do?" when posed to me would basically be, "I'm his wife. I... wife him." This is hard for me. Before I was married, LDS men would ask me these questions. They wanted to know what I studied, what my aspirations were, what my hobbies and interests were. So my question is, why do these questions cease after marriage? Do these men feel like their interest might be somehow misconstrued as too much? Is my major in colle...

Even mormonwomen.org is talking about women and the priesthood. The link below is a collection of very conservative sources addressing the issue. http://mormonwoman.org/2013/06/30/pondering-mormon-women-and-priesthood/

This recent post   on Feminist Mormon Housewives was so refreshing to me. I've been hanging out on the FMH facebook page and honestly, it can be a little depressing at times for me. As in any movement or organization, the more radical members tend to also be the most outspoken and end up being the de facto representatives. I think that's unfortunate in this case, because the borderline ex-LDS or straight up anti-Mormons end up misrepresenting the very legitimate feelings of faithful, active LDS women who desire to see moderate change in the culture and some of the policies of the church in order to more accurately reflect the doctrines that we love. This misrepresentation ends up ostracizing people who would probably be supportive to the cause if it were represented more accurately and moderately. The post describes this problem and the broad spectrum of feelings and opinions that exist under the umbrella term "feminist" within the church. Anyway, it was just valid...

I felt like I had to link this for anyone who has feminist temple issues as I do. This whole issue is about different women's experiences with the temple, some very positive, others more reminiscent of my own. It was very comforting to realize just how many other women struggle with the same questions and pain as I do. I still pray that I will live to see major changes made to the wording of the temple ceremonies, which I don't believe are consistent with the professed doctrines of the church regarding women and are merely vestiges or the earlier, more patriarchal society in which these ceremonies came out and were developed. Anyway, check it out! The free PDF is at the bottom of the page. Exponent II

I recently found this fascinating article online entitled How to Worship our Mother in Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated) by Kevin Barney. I'm not sure what it was published in, but I'm assuming it was some journal at BYU, given the academic bent. It really opened up my eyes to the fact that our Mother in Heaven is a lot more visible, approachable, learn-about-able :) than I'd previously thought. You just have to be taught what to look for. Some thoughts that I got from it / things are learned are: We know Her name. Some of her names are: Happiness, Sanctuary or Holy Place, Tree of Life, Tree of Knowledge, Wisdom, Most High Goddess, Creatress of All, Lion Lady, and my personal favorite - She Who Treads Upon the Sea. She was anciently symbolized by a tree. In Nephi's vision, he is shown a tree and then is shown Mary holding Christ. He immediately understands that Christ is gift of love given from God. Ancient Israelites knew of our Mother in Heaven and even wor...

Don't be scared of the title. This post of Joanna Brooks was awesome, scholarly and well thought out. http://askmormongirl.wordpress.com/2013/06/28/should-mormon-women-be-ordained-or-are-they-already-priesthood-holders/

In response to the SCOTUS contradictory rulings today, first that marriage should be defined by the states and then that the definition that the majority of Californians voted for doesn't have any legal weight, I thought I'd post my favorite pro-feminist defense of traditional marriage, once again by one of my favorite feminists, Ms. Valerie Cassler. Enjoy here. 

Some people have expressed to me the view that my desire to lift up my voice and inspire change in the culture of the church and share my testimony in the hopes of correcting misconceptions is an unrighteous desire.  While I don't recommend anyone stand up in sacrament meeting and start lecturing the ward on any given topic, I believe it is a righteous desire that I share with other LDS feminists to try to improve those things which can be improved about our culture. Sister Patricia Holland stated, "I believe we [sisters] know much more about our eternal nature than we think we do; and it is our sacred obligation to express our knowledge, to teach it to our young sisters and daughters, and in so doing to strengthen their faith and help them through the counterfeit confusions of these difficult latter days." Beautifully put, Sister Holland. There is so much confusion and misinformation about the role of women in the church and in the world. If my words or my sharing of...

http://radiowest.kuer.org/post/mormon-women-and-priesthood One of my favorite radio shows on NPR's local station KUER did a show on women in the church and the priesthood, covering a lot of the recent happenings in the movement. Check it out! "Thursday, we're talking about the role of women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Over the last few years, a movement of Mormon women asserting their rights within the Church has reemerged. They've been asking to pray in general conference and be more involved in day-to-day decisions. Now there is a group asking to be given the LDS priesthood. But why haven't women been given the priesthood? Is it a doctrinal issue or a cultural one? Doug is joined by Mormon women to talk about the history and about what's at stake."

"Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife. And as husband and wife, a man and a woman should strive to follow our Heavenly Father. The Christian virtues of love, humility, and patience should be their focus as they seek the blessings of the priesthood in their lives and for their family." -Elder Ballard

There is a common cultural misconception within the church that we are not supposed to talk about our Mother in Heaven. That is unfortunate because in reality, while we have been told not to pray to her, we have never been asked not to speak about her. There is actually on record a rich history of general authorities and leaders in the church discussing her role and extrapolating on what we do know about her.  A massive study done by BYU scholars found no public record of any General Authority advising members of the church to be silent about our Heavenly Mother. I believe it may assuage some unfounded fears of women in the church, if we were to talk more about what has been revealed about her. Elder Glenn L. Pace said,  “Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and you look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich ...

I had a really disappointing conversation with a priesthood holder recently that reminded me just how unreceptive many otherwise solid members of the church are to discussing the importance of the feminine divine. It got me thinking about just how essential these truths are to exaltation, and how we cannot become like God without understanding them. There is an important difference between salvation and exaltation. Exaltation is impossible without salvation and builds upon it. If we look at the temple as a metaphor, the foundation is our salvation through the gospel of Jesus Christ. But exaltation comes from the sealing blessings, the highest rooms of the temple, equal in level to the celestial realm, where God dwells.  The idea being, that the relationship of marriage, and therefore, gender relations including understanding the feminine half of divinity, are some of the mysteries of the kingdom whereby we become like our Heavenly Parents. ValHud in her book talks about how it is...

Jean A. Stevens conducts the morning session's closing prayer during the 183rd Annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Saturday, April 6, 2013, in Salt Lake City. For the first time in 183 years, a woman has led a prayer at the semi-annual gathering of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Photo: Rick Bowmer Read more:  http://www.stamfordadvocate.com/news/us/article/Woman-leads-closing-prayer-at-Mormon-conference-4414642.php#ixzz2PiIhS2Ni

As a return missionary, I was so excited to hear about this change. We are seeing changes. Our faith and patience are being rewarded. "Each mission in the Church will organize a Mission Leadership Council that will include both elder (males) and sister (females) missionary leaders. The new mission leadership council will consist of the mission president and his wife, assistants to the president, zone leaders, and sister training leaders — a newly created role. "We are very excited about the new Mission Leadership Council and this role for sister missionaries,” said Elder David F. Evans executive director of the Missionary Department. “It will be a blessing to both missions and missionaries throughout the world, and better employ the remarkable faith, talents and abilities of all missionaries." The role of sister training leader has been created as more female missionaries serve in missions around the world. Sister training leaders will be responsible for the traini...

"That the supremacy of motherhood over fatherhood is based in biology should not be debasing if, as  Alma told Korihor , “all things” testify of God, “even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it.” On the contrary, as  Valerie Hudson argues , biology is prior to priesthood. The grand purpose of the Church, after all, is to unite all human beings into one unbroken chain of family relationships. From that perspective, it is the role of mothers that is central, and the role of the formal Church—including the priesthood—that is auxiliary." OK? Read THIS immediately. 

Top LDS women leaders provide insights into church leadership and women's perspectives 

I heard about this site from Joana Brooks. It is oh so scandaloso but interesting. My favorite excerpt from the FAQ page was, " In questioning Church policies, aren't you questioning God? No. In fact, the challenge to advocate for women's ordination was articulated by former Church President Gordon B. Hinckley in a 1997 interview with reporter David Ransom. When Ransom asked if the policy on denying priesthood to women could be changed, much like it had for black men, President Hinckley responded, "Yes. But there's no agitation for that." Ordain Women joins a new generation of faithful Mormon women who are rising up and responding to this challenge." Check out their site at http://ordainwomen.org

I thought this was a great post from the exponent. We live in exciting times. I believe we will live to see major revelations brought forth on this subject. http://www.the-exponent.com/a-mormon-spring/

You may be wondering, "What does pornography have to do with feminism in the church? That's a common question, but the answer is: everything! It is a sad truth that pornography is a nearly ubiquitous problem in this church. When I was a student at BYU, I was told that over 90% of the unmarried male students had a problem with pornography to some degree. And we all have personal experiences with friends and family members whose marriages have ended, whose missions have been postponed, whose lives have been altered by this debilitating addiction. But I believe that there are many members of the church who don't really get why this is such a big deal . It's just porn, right? Slap them on the wrist, and they'll stop doing it, right? The truth is, pornography is Satan's last ditch effort to destroy this church, and right now, he's winning.  But how does pornography destroy people and why is it so inherently harmful? Pornography is inherently sexist and selfish...

MAN, I love her! Cannot get enough of her in my life! So you can imagine my delight and excitement when I received my April 2013 Ensign and on page 19 was a SIX PAGE feature article written by Mrs. Valerie M. Hudson and Richard B. Miller. I did notice and find it slightly amusing that she chose not to use her usually hyphenated name for this article. That might scare away some of the more traditional members, I suppose. Haha! Ok, I'm way too excited about this. But have you read this article?!  Entitled, Equal Partnership in Marriage and written by my oh-so-most-favorite MoFem ever! Here are some highlights: "In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control and regulate all family affairs. That is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that EVERY PRIESTHOOD HOLDER MUST REJECT." "...

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how many of the problems of feminists stem from within themselves. Now, before we start burning bras here , let me explain. I personally have struggled with a feelings of intimidation when dealing with priesthood leaders throughout my life. But I wonder how much of that comes from some sense of inferiority within myself? I admit that there are structural and cultural norms that would encourage or cause those feelings, however, I also know that the priesthood can only maintained, "by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile." My experience has been that the vast majority of priesthood leaders, while not perfect men, are trying their best, and the last thing they want is to make a daughter of God feel in any way inferior. Is it not also the responsibility of the women in the church to buil...

Humankind defines itself by its actions. He's a hunter. She's a sailor. He's a murderer. Shes a liar. This is even evident in our names. Baker, Thatcher, Miller, Fletcher. All women are mothers. We moth. I am a mother because I love even when it's scary. Because when I serve, I am happy. Because when I teach, people listen. Because the Spirit supplies my needs. Because I have a great, God-given capacity for compassion. Because I am strong and brave. I am a mother because God made me that way and my gifts have very little to do with my physiological functions. I am a motherbecause it is the greatest gift can can give His daughters. I am a mother because I have a Mother. How do you moth?

 I just love her. Like every word that comes out of her mouth. Like, I wish we could vote her back into the General RS presidency. Here is a quote that I read today that I wanted to share from her, "Regardless of your marital status, your age, or the language you speak, you are a beloved spirit daughter of Heavenly Father who is destined to play a critical part in the onward movement of the gospel kingdom. Eliza R. Snow proclaimed that, 'There is no sister so isolated, and her sphere so narrow but what she can do a great deal towards establishing the Kingdom of God upon the earth.'"

I realize that it's pretty cheeky of me to publicly share my comments on motherhood. I, the uninitiated. What good are my opinions on this topic? Because let's be honest, I don't know much about motherhood on a practical level. I've babysat and nannied enough to hope and pray that motherhood is a LOT more rewarding than that, and the general consensus of those I talk to seems to be that it is. I was watching The Hours the other day (How cliche, right? Virginia Woolf? Lesbians? Come on!) and the character named Kitty was very upset that she couldn't conceive. She was going to the doctor to get a surgery done that might help her predicament and her comment to her friend, played by Julianne Moore, was, "I don't think you can call yourself a woman until you're a mother." It's funny because that scene in the movie was set in 1950, but within the church, I don't think that opinion has changed much since then. It seems quite possible to me that...

I thought this was a very funny post on FMH. Obviously entirely tongue in cheek and slightly irreverent so don't read it if you don't have a sense of humor about these things. http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2013/02/a-modest-proposal-for-preventing-the-women-of-lds-families-from-being-a-burden-on-their-husbands-or-church-and-for-making-them-beneficial-to-the-publick/#more-17284

I was asked today at church what I think a feminist is and it made me so happy to know that people are reading my blog and thinking about it. That's really why I wanted to start it, in order to prompt people to consider questions they hadn't considered before or in a new / different light. The question got me thinking as well. There are so many different definitions of feminism. Google's aggregated definition of feminism as, "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." So that would beg the question, what is equality? Does equality mean indistinguishability? To me, a big step towards equality within the realm of the church would be to cut out the gender roles besides those that are outlined in the Family Proclamation and allow all members to pursue fulfillment according to the dictates of their own conscience, without the strict cultural gender pressures that we experience. I believe that The Family:...

Oh, that dreaded word. To anyone outside of the church it means a system in which men hold all the power and women are in perpetual subordination. And we all talk about the "patriarchal order" with tears in our eyes and then wonder why that confuses non-members. Anyone who has read anything about feminism knows that Feminists feel about the word Patriarchy the way that most 70 year old Tea-Partiers feel about the word Communism. There's a lot of anger there, distrust, hate. It's pretty much an expletive. Like the way Maggie Gyllenhall says, "Tax Man!" in Stranger Than Fiction. But should this word conjure such emotions, within the context of the church? Is that what it means, more or less, that men get all the power... forever? Add this to the list of spiels I would love to go on in Sunday school if I had the time/attention/interest of the class. The great thing about a blog is that I don't have to care so much about your time/attention/interest. ;...

Click -  The Diane Rehm Show - The Feminine Mystique Heard this on NPR today. Diane Rehm's voice makes my bones hurt but the conversation was really interesting.

The generally accepted cultural consensus of the church, at least in my experience, seems to be that women get to bear children, which is why they don't get the priesthood. Or, in other words, the Priesthood is the male equivalent to motherhood. My question then, if that is true, is why did the Father of us all, who with all of His incredible roles, power, knowledge and authority has asked for us to address Him as Father, seem to feel that fatherhood by itself was not equal to motherhood, and feel that men needed a little something extra to make it even? I don't think that's how it works. I don't believe that the only g odly power that women have been asked to exercise in this life is bearing children. Don't get me wrong, that is an incredible, spiritual power. But it is one that, if we solely focus on its physical nature, may also be exercised by prostitutes. Nor do I believe that the only source of godly power in a sealed couple is the Priesthood held by the m...

The same day I decided to start this blog, I happened to be checking out LDS.org, and noticed (It wasn't hard; it takes up the top half of the page) that the church has launched a new series of leadership training modules called "Strengthening the Family and the Church through the Priesthood." And this was my thought:  Interesting choice.  Of course, being a feminist who is somewhat active in the recent flurry of LDS feminist activity, (It's true, I wore pants. I still do sometimes.) I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that this might be reactionary. A response from them, if you will. That is my assumption, and I fully accept that it is probably not true. However, given the recent surge of MoFem airtime on the news and whatnot, I still found now to be an interesting time to focus on broadcasting the message of the "only-held-by-males" priesthood. Here are my thoughts on this choice: I sincerely believe that a decent portion of feminists, myself included, and...

So, I finally did it. I took the plunge and started a blog. I'm sure my Facebook friends will be relieved that with this new outlet, the number of my MoFem posts is sure to go down. I've been contemplating this for months, composing hypothetical blog posts in my mind. Then Pants happened, I thought it might be too inflammatory and trendy or I'd look like I was just a Feminist because everyone was doing it. Like all the Ravens fans that came out of the woodworks this past month. And then there's that word... Feminist. What do I even mean by that? Let's play a family word association game! I'll say something and then you all say the first thing that comes into your head, ok? Go! Me: "Feminst" Older sister: "Sonia Johnson" Mom: "Man-hater" Brother: "Lesbian" Dad: "Excommunication" I don't know about any of you (assuming anyone is reading this) but to me Sonia Johnson has become the ultimate threat to...

Throughout my life, again and again, I have come up against the assumption that the majority of Mormon Feminists are inactive apostates who don't understand the doctrine and if they did, they wouldn't be Feminists. On the contrary, it has been my experience that there are many fully active, relatively conservative sisters (and brothers!) who are actively engaged in the many conversations that are taking place right now regarding the role of women in the Church. The struggle of many of these brothers and sisters is that it can be difficult to have these kinds of conversations without it turning into an out-and-out church-bashing session. I have had friends come to me wanting to have these conversations, seeking a safe place in which to do so, where the accusations and man-hating won't get too frenzied or rabid. ;) I think many of us seek a conversation that is, in a word: moderate. I had the desire to share my thoughts and opinions on these topics, NOT because I think I...